So before I save someone else // I’ve got to save myself.

Ed Sheeran recently released his album : Divide, and many people have told me a lot about this album, having lovely songs and “EVERY SINGLE SONG IS GOOD”. But OK I guess my favourite from this album is the song “Save Myself” — it just describes my nature very well.

Sometimes I rescue a stranger just ‘cos they need saving, it’s just my nature. But sometimes I use up all my energy making someone else happy, use up all my resources to help other people, I forget that the one that really needs saving is me.

I ruined myself for a lot of people that weren’t even worth it.

People tell me I’m a very accommodative person, like I go out of my way to listen to someone’s comments and try my best to do them then try to weave my own ideas / solutions into it. I was just describing to some of the kids about the various problems that are currently happening between some people, and tried to shed light on the fact that even if one party may appear most logical, the other party may actually be the the one that is more sensible. Sometimes we need to give in to certain people because, admit it, they are of a higher authority, and respect should be given to such people. And I mean, sometimes it makes no sense to go against them ‘cos ultimately they have their reasons for meting out certain things and have their reasons for getting people to follow them. And really, just accept. It doesn’t really affect you that largely, unless you really want to do it for fame, glorification, personal satisfaction.

Then I guess prof is hinting that I need to buck up lah ‘cos I’ve already gotten double warning from her for not being up to standard, and I guess that’s one of the worries I’ve been having over the past few days. Having no mood to argue with my kids, unlike the usual self that banters along with them, then when they burn me, I’m just like, yah ok “no mood to fight with you today” then yah I guess. But the kids have been really nice lah, other than making me exercise (“no you don’t take the escalator, you walk down the stairs”, “WORK THEM CALVES”) and I’m like thanks kids, but I’m really not in the mood to, but OK I gave in anyway. I gave the excuse that I was starving and shit, but yah my mind actually just shut off after chem lesson wondering how I’m going to remember all that organic madness.

Then there are captions that I hope that people read, but they don’t and they tell me they just like the picture without reading, and I’m just like thinking “wrong timing” but OK, I can’t really expect my kids to understand me when the people around me hardly even know what I’m thinking about 90% of the time.

But ok, everyone is getting stressed and emotional, I guess if my kids aren’t gonna help me, then I just have to fall back on myself 🙂

— at least honk gives me hugs 🙂 loves and honk’s hugs are not bad legit I rate 9.9/10

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