I found it hard to begin this blog post because I really have a lot to talk about, but very little words to express them with. This holiday has been fun while it lasted, despite the constant mugging drive that seemed to falter and regenerate every now and then.


So holidays for me started earlier, ‘cos whew Bio Practical and BCMF is best combination 🙂 but that week was well spent drawing and writing. I had this idea where I would probably start mugging for awhile everyday during the hols ‘cos I really can’t see myself mugging 24/24 (24/7 for anglophones). So yah, I really felt I needed to enjoy my last few days of the term since they were holidays.

First shout-out to Neutrophils for being the best bunch of people to be with throughout my JC life, I think JC just seemed to be more fun and lively with y’all. We aren’t really the kind that goes crazy (ok Correction, we do) and run around and do a lot of stupid things (ok wait, actually …) but it’s the daily conversations, thoughts, and the occasional burst into laughter over the stupidest things ever. And also how all of us are like supporting each other so happily. First week schedule was literally Neutrophils, Neutrophils, Neutrophils, Neutrophils — we even joked that “is it we’re gonna see each other every week” and yes we did in the end. And yes, even though all of us have seemingly different interests, we somehow still give in to each other and appreciate the things that everyone else appreciates. :’) Love y’all lots

SAM, National Gallery, Scholarship Fair, Library Mugging – highlights of WEEK ZERO all spent with Neutrophils.

From SAM I guess we all figured that even though as a self-proclaimed intellectual species, the homo sapiens, we have much to learn from our surroundings. Humans we are currently in search of new worlds, places to explore, maybe there’ll be alien lifeforms? But we had a new world with us all the time, dreamland — or shall I call it Wanderland (yes not wonderland) — where we create a place to experiment and explore, to carry them out and make them a reality. That other animals and lifeforms present have hidden treasures we haven’t appreciated. Lizards, no matter how terrified you are of them, have learnt since birth, the ability to let go : something we all need to do once in a while. Let go of your burdens that weigh you down against all odds, make a clean break from the sadness and angst that you have carried, just let it wriggle on its own to intimidate your opponent : Zindagi, so you can start anew. That we should stop to appreciate our connections, for at the end of the earth we meet ourselves once again.

And then to digitising my artworks and written prompts into When The Water Flows… and finishing up my Sketchbook 1 : LeafySnails.

WEEK 1 (29 MAI – 4 JUIN)

29 : Started out the holidays with making lunch for Phats and personally cooking for other people has always been a joy — if the neutrophils see this I’m gonna be shot down — and that day I decided to try something new, like pan-frying chicken thighs. As usual, he came slightly later than the original meeting time, but we still had fun as always, talking and rushing to bio. (I was honestly contemplating between Bio Lecture and French Lesson, you know choosing the more useful of the two is rather difficult) But I was really happy to start off the holidays like that.

珊瑚 : it was mere “I need friends to colour up my life” or rather “I need useful people in my life” that drove the symbiotic relationship. It was mere having more friends meant a better more vivid life. It was just a cover, something to cluster around our lonely fragile soul. It was like we needed constant validation. And when they no longer served a purpose, we severed ties with them, only to reveal a weak, white-washed soul.

30 : Went for French Lesson the next day, it wasn’t that useful but I really need to start working hard for French and at least speaking French during the Hols and talking to Quenot whew ‘cos I’m honestly not doing exceptionally well but I’m trying to figure out how to write French essays …

31 : Then started spazzing randomly with Ayo about anime, and she recommended BNHA AND I REALLY LIKED IT AND SO I FINISHED SEASON 1 IN ONE DAY. AND YES BNHA : Quirkless, useless, バカ are just one of the many names you’ve been called. You were good for nothing, the opposite of what everyone expects. But still you pressed on, moving before you could even think — ‘cos you wanted to help people, save people — even if you didn’t have any power, even if it meant risking your time, your effort, your life: you’d still want to rescue everyone.

1 : Went out with fam, temple and museum hopping. Haven’t been to Nat Museum in a long time and realised there’s this interactive mural art thing whew. And also temples are beautifully silent during non-peak periods, and I like that.

The wisps of smoke soon became evanescent,
together with the burden left on our hearts.
But the scent still lingered,
like the fears temporarily suppressed.

and update, halfway through All The Light We Cannot See

Read a bit of online poetry and blog posts and two things caught my attention, I can’t remember as to who wrote them since I’m writing this 22 days later but :

If only we treated ourselves the way we treated others.

If only our actions mirrored our thoughts.

2 : Couldn’t think of what to do so I watched 声の形 and honestly it’s a really sad show that really talked abut problems with the disabled community and how people actually treat them. It’s not a concocted thing though, it actually happens.

3 : Couldn’t think of what to do so I flipped open the list of bollywood that I wanted to watch during the holidays and found Baar Baar Dekho on Einthusan wuhuuuu it’s really really good like sometimes we cannot treat everything mathematically ‘cos the theory does not always coincide with the reality especially numerically. There will always be the presence of deviation from ideal ‘cos that’s what the mathematical world model, a perfect world. And if we were all treated as equations, all the more there should be equilibrium.

and also bollyquotes :

the past is always happening, this was the past.
you reading this is the past. now is the past. It is something we cannot change.

but the present, the present is a gift,
the present is what we live for, what we can make do about

the problem is we waste the present reminiscing a past that has long happened,
or chasing a future that no one has seen

4 : Laoshi was asking about our progress on mugging, and honestly need to thank laoshi for 1) pushing us so hard to maximise our abilities, a lot of people may not like it, but I think we’ll all learn to appreciate it at the end, 2) believing in consistency and making us do consistent work, something that really needs to be done in JC if not I really don’t know how you can finish studying the whole syllabus just within the weeks before the examinations. It’s a cumulative thing I guess ?

WEEK 2 (5 JUIN – 11 JUIN)

5 : a boring day spent mugging prancing, but satisfying ‘cos drawing someone’s birthday present 🙂

6 : started the morning with wonder woman with the kids, I really miss them too.

Second shout-out to Kids for keeping me company in my lowest moments, talking to me, giving me problems to solve, and also letting me help them. They were honestly the best bunch of people to talk to during my HS days. My impression on them has changed since, and I’ve reduced the number of viable kids but yes they’re magnificent, and I think they’ll all be able to do well in their exams, and in life as well. And also, giving me guy advice. HAHA that came out a bit weird but yes. I love y’all too.

Then went back to bathe and change ‘cos going to Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel for buffet dinner that day HAHA, but before that needed to do Lunwen with Tooty Passe. I’m really really thankful for this outing to AF ‘cos I really wouldn’t have much motivation to do any Lunwen since I can’t find any information in NLB, and there are limited sources online due to the need-to-pay/subscribe. So yes, it was a extremely productive time there from 2pm to 6pm just pouring over sources and typing stuff, and adding footnotes and trying to figure out what person opinion meant — ‘cos I thought this was a research paper and should contain like facts and therefore prove something in a conclusion or something, but well ok.

Buffet dinners are always great, but I must say that the variety at Grand Copthorne wasn’t as fantastic as I imagined it to be.

7 : Since I already had the drive to do lunwen from yesterday, I decided to write a bit of lunwen and then do a bit more mugging. generally boring day other than mugging for chem mock test the next day and watched Two States

The world has many states, many communities, each functioning on its own, with its specific traits, and traditions. The one thing we have in common is people, people that live each day in different communities. We can look down on each other based on skin tone, social class, richesse. But when communities come together, it isn’t about where we come from, but rather, the people we want to spend our time / lives with. And every person has a story, and whether or not this story has a hero, doesn’t really matter, ‘cos the ultimate hero should be has to be the story. So, aapka story kyaa hai?

8 : Chem Mock Test – the paper, i’ve never opened it, was suprisingly OK even though I didn’t study periodicity, TM, and Organic. I guess that consistency mechanism kicked in, and helped save some marks, but it was genreally OK. I really need to buck up on my organic. Gave Benz his gift that I spent a day conceptualising and writing and drawing. It was shift from the usual card that I used to give people. I guess with the days my gifts more personalised and more creative 🙂 I see no point in buying and giving people gifts ‘cos it really is the 心意 that matters and not really whether I bought something for you. It’s even better if that gift is handmade 🙂

Went out with a bunch of people to eat at Buddy Hoagies (we have issues pronouncing this name for various reasons) and yes managed to talk about a lot of things. Then I headed down to AF to finish Lunwen 1 and also to research abit on Lunwen 2 and then I called it a day.

General Sentiments : The growing stages of doneness as you watch the words float above your screen, the pictures coming to life as you picture yourself sitting in a French restaurant eating Magret de Canard and then Foie Gras, and to end off some Crème Brûlée and Petit Suisse YASSSSSS oh I forgot about the baguettes and fromages in between courses ah and yes Red Wine ahhh and yes French people and well French I mean what else could I POSSIBLY be thinking about?? Oh that’s right Lunwen.

But I was really happy ‘cos this cute asian kid came up to me and said “kor kor BONJOUR!!” and then i was like NEWFOUND STRENGTH TO DO WORK and pressed on and before the library closed he was like “AU REVOIR” and told the mum that he needed to say bye to me first before he could leave.

I was very drowsy on the train like legit the whole day was very brain draining haha but satisfying overall 🙂

Something I wrote to keep myself awake on the train ride home :

We were swinging pieces lying, running, moving parallel and against movement to keep ourselves from falling, we were free moving pendulums controlled by our will to stay standing, hanging precariously on a fulcrum that ensured we stayed within the moments.
Equilibrium is what you sought.
It all felt like that last time you had 6 glasses of wine and felt groggy, alive yet continually sleepy trying to keep awake. Your eyelids grew heavier and heavier and you kept increasing the volume of the music that you plugged into your ears ‘cos it kept getting softer and softer until the world before you came to a blur and then dark.
You heard a crash as the glass chandelier shattered on the floor, glass shards flying, your heart similarly in pieces. Yet it was a dark void that you found hard to piece them back together

I was really happy when Benz snapped me that night and said that he really liked the gift. And yah I think I was overly cheesy in the note but yah it was really what I felt.

9 : Neutrophils outing again !! Went with yc to have lunch at 18 chefs and then buy books (cheap lit omd 6.50 for 6 books legit damn happy) and then went to meet the rest of the neutrophils at the Ramadan Bazaar  haven’t seen everyone together in such a long time I really missed everyone. Legit though we are all super crazy together, picture this : bunch of fools doing stupid shit like screaming at food and and and transferring drinks like doing titration and fretting over OMG SHOULD I GET THAT RAINBOW and then otw to bugis and we making alot of noise on the train and figuring out if an atomic bomb kills us and is it considered a bottleneck. Only sane thing was helping Cai with Chem and Bio for awhile before heading home. Satisfying day.

10 : Went to the beach in the morning, didn’t get the memo tho. But otherwise generally boring day.

11 : library onz and on the way back

Today I tried tapping in beat to my footsteps. (OK I don’t technically walk very fast but) I realised it’s hard to keep to the rhythm of my walking speed tapping and ensuring that the index finger lands in sync with my left foot and the middle finger landing almost simultaneously as with my right foot. And I restarted at the escalator, restarting but this time with slower steps before breaking in a quicker pace. But ok it was easier than the first try, but I guess sometimes it’s hard to keep up and get by when you fly into the running at the start. And also, if you’re lagging behind, better catch up soon, or get trampled and stampeded by those who have already long gone ahead, or those who are desperately trying to catch up.

And ok I guess the only accomplishment this week is Lunwen, and stories, and artwork. And also thinking about maybe I should work in an Embassy — and yes I want to learn Hindi and Jap after As. LOOKING FORWARD TO STEAMBOAT TONIGHT YAYYYYYY

FINISHED READING ALL THE LIGHT WE CANNOT SEE and spazzed with Benz during the week haha — starting on a new book, The God of Small Things

WEEK 3 (12 JUIN – 18 JUIN)

12 : had a lovely afternoon with mattfats studying with him and talking to him, first junior to date wuhu 🙂 and we share similar fates I guess haha but ok it was great talking to him and enjoying a day out before enjoying Banana Orea with fam

13 : started the morning with a little reading of the God of Small Things and then spent the rest of the day mugging

14 : movie with dad and sis — THE MUMMY omd no please

15 : generally boring day spent mugging and drawing

16 : wuhu happy birthday Benz !! other than that day spent mugging and drawing as well

17 : ACM with the fam !! wuhuuuu I really love ACM too ‘cos of all the things, just that sometimes I see no need to go museums with other people ‘cos they get tied down by me and I get stressed by them, ‘cos not everyone looks at everything and analyses everything like I do

18 : library onz

19 : watched Bad Genius with the Kids at Yishun oh blimey the view to Yishun was good tho. I really didn’t feel satisfied during the outing after the show ‘cos like idk maybe it’s ‘cos of conversation and differences in ideas. haiz

20 : continued reading GOST and rest of the day spent mugging

21 : YAYAYA Phats came over :)))))) I suggested cooking but he wanted to buy food for me so :’) idk why I deserve such nice people :’) spent the day catching up, teaching him maths and chem and getting quality hugs and company.

Third Shout-out to Phats for being so nice to me and taking care of me and being so supportive haha, and like even though we only actually knew each other at the end of sec 4, I ‘m just really glad that we actually became friends, and I haven’t had a good friend in a very long time. I think I’m quite stubborn sometimes, but yah he sorta brightens up my day and wuhuuu I’m so happy that he came :’) and also, at least he seems happier now 🙂 and for that I feel much much much happier 🙂 today was a really really good day :’) and that “thanks for today” message always gets me ‘cos I feel like ok nvm HAPPY THOUGHTS he said I need to smile more ‘cos I have a resting angry face, ‘cos he kept asking me “you pissed is it” I think I sound very angry too HAHAH ok TIME TO PUT BACK RAI HAPPY MODE

22 : started the day with drawing someone’s birthday gift was really hard ‘cos I tried to make it happy but couldn’t — at least it’s my work and I’ll try to get other stuff too :’) and finally cut my hair whew, got new JPop songs so I decided to walk home and the weather was good too :’) and spent the rest of the day answering queries and doubts not only from people fretting over BT2, but those fretting over BT1, and then there are also S4s 🙂

cai said really nice stuff thanking my hard work, dedication, being so kind, and nice, and a lovely soul. then baerce was like tysm (and it sounds really cute in my head but) and he treats me like his tutor / teacher which is really really heartwarming :’)

23 : schools’s starting soon :”) 

24, 25 : nothing much other than packing bags and running around answering questions haha

26 : Really glad that my fav nephews came over today. The best feeling is having to take care of kids and kids love you and kids kiss and hug you and sit there and watch cartoons and read picture books with you and then fall asleep on you. I’m STILL LEARNING how to carry kids but carrying them for a short while and while sitting down is perfectly fine. I think I work better with little kids not the kindergarten age but the 0-3 year old range :”) and then students are great too :”) but anyway, I think kids can’t be too active if not they’ll be running around too much :”) drew this picture of the sand and the sea :”) loves ❤ not gonna do shit today ‘cos exams start tmr and it’s GP so imma just clear my mind by playing with the kids until they needa go home, play touhou, watch the Korean drama, then sleep :”)


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